So apparently after making this comment, a few people were disappointed of the lack of follow through with the post. Although, most of my attention was focused on the game I still should have used my “smart” phone (I say smart phone even though it’s intelligence factor is only superior from the bag phones of the 90’s) to keep more updates flowin’. So to you fans of mine, I bring you the following updates I SHOULD have posted during the Super Bowl (in no particular order). Please Note, all times are approximate, especially after that shitty halftime show.
The Game:
1) Jarrett Bush got to be captain for the Superbowl?? He’s horrible and shouldn’t even be allowed to captain a rowboat.
2) JARRETT BUSH I LOVE YOU!
3) I can’t even call Jordy the poor-mans Wes Welker anymore. Welker should be privaledged to be called the poor mans Jordy.
4) THE GREAT WHITE HOPE DOES IT AGAIN!!!
5) Damn you Jordy, seriously you make James Jones look like a golden glove winner.
6) Take it back, you rule.
7) Take that back you suck.
8 ) Jordy, just when i think you can’t do anything any dumber, you go and do this… AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!!
9) Danny Podell “Likes” Jordy Nelson.
10) James Jones will not be on the team next season, guarantee it.
11) It’s so hard to defend Jones when he continues to crotch-punch all of my hopes and dreams right out of me.
12) What’s the over/under on A-Rods total yards today? 5000? I’ll take the over.
13) Who the FUCK is Jessica Szorh?!? You’re a Superbowl MVP, you can do better than a D-List celeb. Just fly in, and take Jisele right out from underneath Brady.
14) I’m so happy that I can route for Brett Keisels beard again.
15) This game is giving me a heart att… what? Another batch of Chili Dogs are ready?
16) Ben Roethlisberger hasn’t had a BJ like that since his first offense.
17) 25 more BJ Raji jokes ensue, that’s what Cheesehead.
18) Put Clay back in Chuck’s place, and put Kevin Greene in Clay’s place, we’re all good then.
19) God damn Zombo, grow your hair out just like Clay and I won’t know who to love anymore.
20) *Throws on Championship Belt*LETS GO RODGERS!!!!
21) The state of Wisconsin has replaced high fives, fist bumps, and waving, with a single “Belt” motion. Appropriate in all environments for all ages.
22) SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!!!! *Tears of Joy*
Commercials:
23) I will never ever buy a Bud Product but man, Miller-Coors needs to take notes cuz Bud defintely blows them outta the water every year.
24) Doritos making a strong push for some of the best commercials this year, predictable, but fu… OH MY GOD HE JUST LICKED THAT DUDES FINGER.
25) Oh Kenny G, I would say how far you have fallen if you were ever anywhere respectable in the first place.
26) ANOTHER Fast and the Furious? Just think, by next Super Bowl we’ll be seeing a commercial for Fast and the Furious 12.
27) We have a new favorite… Reply All for Bridgestone was hilarious.
28) New New favorite… Faith Hill Telafloral ad. It’s perfectly acceptable to say Rack in that context right?
29) VW Star Wars ad… I’d say this is my favorite… IF I HADN’T POSTED IT ON THE FB 3 DAYS AGO!
30) Shouldn’t that eTrade baby be like 6 years old by now?
31) Thor looks awful. Captain America looks awesome… when are they going to do a live action Captain Planet ?
32) Eminem Chrysler commercial was a little corny, yet the same time I just got chills down my spine. Didn’t expect a serious ad to be in the running for my favs. (*This ended up being my favorite commercial)
33) I still have no idea why Kim Cardashian is famous but I definitely need to by some Sketchers.
34) Brooklyn Decker, Brooklyn Decker, Brooklyn Decker, Brooklyn Decker.
Halftime Show:
35) This is in the running for worst halftime show ever.
36) Did Fergie piss herself yet?
37) Is the special surprise going to be we finally find out what race that one Black Eyed Pea member is? (credit: Terry)
38) Odds Jerry Jones even knows who these guys are?
39) Will I Am. I DARE DARE DARE you to make a song that doesn’t use another song.
40) I wish Usher wouldn’t have been able to get that latch off and have to do his part tethered.
41) Look! It’s Troy Polamalu playing Sweet Child of Mine!
42) They need to sing Robots by Flight of the Conchords RIGHT NOW.
Celebration:
43) Heading to DT Madison. Got the belt on, people love it, I haven’t stopped giving the belt since we walked outside.
44) The streets are crazy, the Capitol is Green and Gold, I LOVE THIS TOWN. (See Below)
45) Streets are insane right now! BEING AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!!! GO PACK GO!!!
46) Wando’s is hoppin! MORE GO PACK GO!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!
47) Standing on the second floor and just had the entire first floor cheering for me when they saw the Belt. Some girl wants my picture. There goes my 15 minutes of fame.
48) Green Fishbowl. I really wish I didn’t have to work in the morning.
49) Haven’t heard Green and Yellow OR We are the Champions yet, WTF!
50) Time to go home, Evan and Terry are both hammered. Sarge trying to finish the fishbowl on his own. I REALLY WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!
51) Sarge is writing GO PACK GO on every car with snow on it as we walk home. Either that or “Pussy”
52) Time to head home *drives by the Big Ten* better stop in here for a drink.
53) Cousin is here with an A-Rod home jersey (I have on my A-Rod away jersey). A microcosm of our relationship is summed up right there, we’re related but yet we are different colors.
54) Trevor sportin his new Zombo jersey. Very tight.
55) 2:00. I better go home so I can go to work in a few hours.
Bonus Post: Best. Night. Ever.
Well that about sums up what my status’ coulda, woulda, and shoulda, been during the superbowl, and if I would have spent the time writing each of these, I would have missed most of my night anyway. I hope you enjoy them. Same time next year?
